ABSTRACT
Many clients presenting for psychotherapy experience strong internal ‘stroke filters’; discounting positive strokes, disbelieving them or redefining them in some way to neutralize them. There is also the possibility that, for clients with dependent or avoidant personality traits, a "stroke-heavy" approach keeps the client stuck in script, and dependent on the therapist to provide them with their quota of strokes, rather than challenging the underlying neediness. The therapist can then ask them if they took it on board, or did something else with the stroke. By not giving a stroke, the client's need is brought to the surface, where it is amenable to change, rather than lying buried, but motivating the client's behavior and way of interacting with others. Clients occasionally solicit their therapist's reassurance, either directly or indirectly. Eager to demonstrate their understanding and acceptance, and fuelled by the desire to ‘be useful’, inexperienced therapists can succumb to this pull and offer the client their sought-after reassurance.
