ABSTRACT
This chapter is an oral history told by Carter, a 33-year-old Black, Bi+, trans-masc non-binary person living in Sacramento, with context and analysis by the author. Carter was assigned female at birth, but he was calling himself a “boy” from age two. Despite living in a small, red town that was not safe for queer people, he presented in queer ways and transitioned to male early in high school. At first, he didn’t realize that gender and sexuality were separate spectrums, which led to confusion and to cutting off certain relationships before they could develop. He dated both men and women, but he identified as straight and had very different standard for each. He always saw himself marrying a woman, until a crush on a guy gave him a “bisexual epiphany”, and he leaned into his “era of men”. He met his wife online, and they hit it off right away. She also identified as Bi+ and was accepting of his trans and Bi+ identities – she even helped him understand gender fluidity more deeply, and Carter now identifies as non-binary and uses he/him or they/them pronouns. Carter is now paying it forward as a case worker mentoring LGBT+ youth.
