ABSTRACT
This chapter is an oral history told by Drew, a 30-year-old Black, bi, cisgender man living in Dallas, with context and analysis by the author. Drew grew up in Los Angeles, primarily with his mom and sister. He was shy and nerdy, not athletic, and didn’t fit the masculine mold. People told him that he “acted white”, so he felt like an outsider within the Black community. He never really talked to anyone about sex, so he had to figure it out on his own. He mostly dated women until moving to Dallas around age 20, when he experimented with men. His first two experiences were not pleasant, but he was still curious, and his third attempt confirmed his bisexuality. He soon met two women, there was mutual attraction, and they moved in together and began dating as a bisexual, polyamorous triad. Though they never officially got married, their relationship resembles many marriages in this book. Drew’s girlfriends encouraged him to find a boyfriend, and though he did date and have sex with men, he never found another serious relationship. After five years, the triad split up, but Drew is happy with the time they spent together and considers the relationship a success.
