ABSTRACT
The author becomes aware that her daily life is vacillating. It is between languishing with severe depression and irateness and then sudden angry outbursts leaping out, many times without merit. This is symptomatic of both TBI and PTSD. Fluctuating between what Ellie deemed as rage and despair, totally against her composition, the author cannot express her emotions appropriately. Unexpressed anger and PTSD are more pronounced. She shares intrusive thoughts of the trauma that are evident as nightmares, flashbacks and images that initially came out in poetic verse. Other thoughts and feelings written from her journal spill out. A sense of hopelessness and emptiness for the future amplifies.
