ABSTRACT
The author feels the unbearable, unstoppable, tense ache that churns in the pit of her stomach when she has the strength to even comprehend a thought about her ruin. She hears the black wrath of death drawing her near. It takes four months for her to get an appointment with her new doctor specializing in both TBI and PTSD. Under dire straits, she is admitted in-patient into a rehabilitation hospital under his care. While there, the OT shockingly tells her straight out and boldly, in words she has not heard, “You are judging yourself too harshly from where you used to be. You were a different person, one that you will never be again.” “It is time to give up the ‘old you.’” Topher tells her he will not allow her to speak about the “old me,” and names specifically her work, schooling and counseling, committees and anything that used to define who she was. He tells her to develop new interests and meet people who know her brain now and have nothing to compare it to. This cuts deep into her heart, feeling like it leaves her oozing with blood and tears. Her assumptions are shattered.
