ABSTRACT
Shame was given to you by others, and in turn, it’s also healed through others. Out-of-
control sexual behavior may look like self-inflicted wounds, but they’re actually an attempt to numb the anguish of the past. Taming the toxic shame is one of the antidotes for sexual compulsivity and creates room for self-acceptance, self-understanding, and self-compassion.
Perfectionism perpetuates shame and deadens your spirit. As a recovering perfectionist, I know how painful it is to live up to self-imposed unrealistic standards. This facade of perfection is impossible to sustain and is a set-up for self-blame, rigidity, and loneliness. In this chapter you will identify tendencies toward needless self-attack while moving toward shame resilience.
