ABSTRACT
Music educators frequently feel the need to advocate for our subject, which places significant pressure to portray music as an unequivocal positive. The role of musicking, however, is not always straightforward. Acknowledging the harms musicking can create has to be a part of thinking through music pedagogy. I describe the toxic culture participants identified as harmful to their wellbeing in music education contexts. This culture includes the competitive nature of music education, a culture of perfectionism, distress from failure to meet expectations, high levels of pressure and stress, invalidations, and relationships with abusive teachers. Participants identified these facets of the culture they experienced in music education spaces as toxic and harmful to their wellbeing. Musicking also negatively impacted wellbeing. These music educators further noted how their participation in certain musicking practices including Western classical ensemble-based instruction and high-stakes performing caused emotional distress. Notably, ensemble participation and playing and singing also comprised practices that participants found supportive. Recognizing that the same musicking experiences may facilitate help or harm reminds music educators that what constitutes supportive practices can be widely variable. Additionally, I offer a caveat about music listening. While participants found listening supportive, substantial literature reveals it can also be harmful.
