ABSTRACT
This chapter addresses the inherent dissymmetry between genetic and social lesbian mothers. Following a brief theoretical review, the question of breastfeeding is examined through an Oedipal lens: as a symbol of an ultimate symbiotic connectedness between the birth mother and the baby, excluding the social mother, and stressing their differences, thus giving rise to feelings of jealousy and envy. Next, a distinction is made between families in which one mother gives birth to all children and families where each mother gives birth in turn. The unique sensitivities and conflicts in each circumstance are accounted for. Throughout this chapter, fascinating illustrations are given, demonstrating how children, on their part, are susceptible to the emotional stance of their social mother, unconsciously responding to the various meanings ascribed by her to the lack of genetic affiliation: a child may feel an increased need to woo his social mother when they exhibit insecurity, or, alternately, make them the target of hostile feelings and rivalry when they position themselves primarily as the genetic mother’s partner and display ambivalence about their parental role. The social mother’s attitude thus plays an important part in the child’s Oedipal object choices and patterns.
