ABSTRACT
Two aspects of isolation have been identified in previous chapters: the practical one of living alone and the subjective one of loneliness. The two were clearly related, but although those who lived with others were less likely to find loneliness a problem, 34% in comparison with 56% who lived alone, a significant minority who were lonely still existed among those sharing a home. This is probably explained by feelings of emotional, rather than social isolation. We saw in the last chapter that the widowed who were described by their familiars as having had independent activities of their own, rather than a life which centred round their spouse, were less likely to find loneliness a problem. Those who were gregarious and had always had outside activities, friends, and visitors might continue to enjoy them, while those who had not led such an active life were probably unlikely to develop one upon widowhood. One widow, for example, said that now she often saw no one for two weeks at a time. Others commented:
‘I’ve never been on my own [before]. We were two together, we never went out except together. He liked to go out for a drink but he never went out unless I came too. I was never indoors, hardly, on my own.’
‘I don’t think I’ll ever conquer it. There’s a big gap in me. We shared our friends, we didn’t go our own ways. We were always together. . . . I’d know the wife since I was fourteen, we’d never been out without each other. As time goes on I seem to miss her more. I’m getting tense and nervous and quick tempered.’
‘We both had such a sheltered life. We didn’t go out drinking.’
