A shy non-sailor was invited to address a stag dinner at his local yacht club. Looking for an alluring topic, he decided to talk about sex: but he told his wife that his subject was ‘Sailing’. The day after the dinner, she met the yacht club’s secretary, who enthused at her husband’s brilliant talk. ‘That’s funny,’she said. ‘He’s only done it three times. The first time, he was sick; the second time, his hat blew off; and the third time he got tangled up in the sheets. ‘