ABSTRACT
As children grow within the family their feelings are shaped by the way in which their carers respond to them. A useful way of understanding this is to imagine carers giving children ‘tags’ to help them on their journey. These tags are charged with a sense of emotional correctness and, as children, we learn to want to live up to them. When we fail to do so we can often feel guilt, reflecting how close to the very core of our personal identity are these tags that are imposed on us. Some of the most common tags are listed below:
be strong
please others
be perfect
hurry up
try hard.
