ABSTRACT

When we talk about resilience, psychological strength or other personality strengths, people often make the mistake of assuming that we are ‘one self’ or a unity. This is wrong; we are a multitude of selves (sub-personalities) and self states. This means, for example, that we can be resilient to a shock or life knock at one time but not another, depending if at the time of the shock we are in a ‘self state’ that leads us to feel shy or defeated or one that means we feel more determined, hopeful and courageous. We can be generous one minute and mean the next, very adult and reflective one minute and like a furious, impulsive child the next. The self state we are in will colour our perception. Some self states make us feel warm and content inside, and others make us feel like the world is bleak or hostile.