ABSTRACT
Real love entails a mutual giving; hence, it requires two partners capable of this. Each must be strong enough to sustain periods without being the center of the universe and be sufficiently autonomous to share themselves without fear of depletion. In all probability once having been loved, such persons know what intimacy feels like and enjoy passing along its gifts. Contemporary attachment theorists have characterized adult bonds as being fourfold in character. Some relationship behaviors are said to be secure , some resistant , others avoidant , and still others disorganized. Men and women are different. Nevertheless, what should be an enduring cliche has become a subject of contention. Even within the realm of sexuality, the equivalence of the genders has become a political football. With the need to choose an appropriate partner more crucial than ever, it is astonishing how poorly understood the process is. Most Americans remain in the thrall of the myth of romantic love.
