ABSTRACT
A paradox in our profession is that we spend time working in relationship with our clients that often involves intimate contact but as a consequence of the necessary boundaries of the therapeutic relationship our work can be isolating. There are many clients I have met over the years that I feel could have become friends had we met under different circumstances. The two major counselling and psychotherapy organisations in the UK, BACP and UKCP, are clear in outlining that personal relationships are strictly contra-indicated with clients currently in therapy, but both are concerningly vague in their guidance over the question of beginning a personal relationship with an ex-client. My belief is that once we have worked as someone’s therapist we always need to view the relationship through that preconfiguring lens with all its restrictions. Therefore, to counter any possible out-of-awareness exploitation, I say, ‘Once a client, always a client’, this stance not only ensures that I am available should the person wish to re-commence therapy with me but preserves the support of the therapeutic relationship beyond its end. A further isolating factor lies in preserving confidentiality in that I am not able to chat about my work with my wife over dinner in the same way that she is about her day teaching music. From gestalt’s field perspective, if we are insufficiently supported as therapists this will be communicated to our clients. This is one of the reasons I say allow yourself to be passionate about working as a therapist, but do not make therapy your only passion.
