ABSTRACT
Clients who have suffered repeated failings to be met in their upbringing, including those who have endured early trauma, develop a polarity. At one end of this polarity are expectations that they will yet again be missed and the mis-attunement of the past will be repeated reinforcing a fixed gestalt. When ruptures occur they are often only on the fringes of the client’s awareness or out of their awareness quite simply because they are so familiar. Ruptures that go unrepaired and that are below the level of awareness often show up in the form of enactments such as the client wanting to suddenly leave therapy without good reason. If therapists are vigilant and committed to the process of repair over time together with the client they build the ground for potential healing of toxic shame and the torn fibres of past relational ruptures.
