ABSTRACT
Sex is fundamentally interwoven with our concept of romantic relationships. This chapter questions whether the current rules about how ‘normal’ sex should work in relationships are helpful for our sex lives and our love lives. It points out that the current rules about the type – and amount – of sex we should be having are very narrow and rigid, leading many people to believe that they have some kind of a sexual problem. The chapter turns to various communities (bisexual, pansexual, and queer; kinky; writers and readers of erotic fiction; and asexual) to explore how we might think about – and do – sex differently. Embracing uncertainty around sex would involve exploring what sex means for everyone involved, and ensuring that we treat ourselves – and others – consensually, whatever kind of sex we do – or don’t – want.
