ABSTRACT
Conflict is inevitable in close relationships, but the rules suggest that conflict is a sign of failure and something to be avoided at all costs and never admitted to anybody else. This chapter explores how drawn we are – existentially – to treating people as things, including ourselves, in relationships. This means that conflict is highly likely whenever we relate with others, particularly if we are very close. The chapter considers alternatives to the standard way of managing conflict: blaming the other person and trying to win. What happens if we emphasize listening, empathy, and learning in conflict, and see it as an inevitable part of intimacy rather than as something to avoid at all costs?
