ABSTRACT
Staying together can be just as hard as breaking up. This chapter explores the common rules of commitment and how these can actually put relationships under more, rather than less, pressure. Marriage vows such a staying together forever, sharing all worldly goods, and belonging to each other can mean very different things to different people, so it is worth discussing upfront what they mean to each person and exploring how those commitments will work within any particular relationship. The concept of the relationship escalator helps us to think carefully about the commitments we might make to each other at different stages of a relationship. If we decide not to make such commitments to each other, the chapter explores what it might mean, instead, to commit to being present, and to freedom, kindness, and flexibility. Returning to the theme throughout the book, it explores how we might make these commitments in all relationships, including our relationship with ourselves.
