Duct Tape for the Mouth: Keeping Your Mind Open and Your Mouth Closed Is a Solution

In section 1, I dissected all the ways parents end up overinvolved, over-reactive, and over-directive. Out of a need to keep things moving with as little friction as possible, parents become the feeders of the “weeds” and the “doers of too much.” You’ve likely been here-your two-year-old is noodling and you begin to coax her along. Your three-year-old won’t get dressed, even though he can, so you start nagging. Your fouryear-old won’t stay at the table and eat her breakfast, so you start lecturing and bribing her. Your five-year-old refuses to brush his teeth unless you remind him a dozen times before he leaves for school. Your six-year-old leaves his stuff scattered

around the house and you make it your job to nag, remind, lecture, count, and then do it yourself, in order to make it to work on time. Your seven-year-old refuses to get up with his alarm clock, so you wake him up every morning even though you swear you won’t do it again the following day. Your eightand six-year-olds tease and fight, and you are counting, timeouting, and punishing to get them to stop.