Children are affected by divorce. The short-term and long-term ramifications of losing the cohesiveness of one's family, and of experiencing secondhand the negative feelings of each parent during the divorce process, can be devastating and damaging to children of any age. Couples in contentious divorces often lose sight of their children's feelings by projecting their own experiences and feelings about their spouse on their children. Children who have been exposed to fighting and contention are deeply affected. The child's sense of consistency and safety is challenged. When parents do not present a peaceful front to their children, and when they have not processed their own emotions, when there is strife between the ex-spouses, the child is left to "stuff" his own feelings or put his own processing on hold. Parents need to be encouraged to allow the child to revisit his/her history, and to reinforce to the child that he/she was wanted and loved.