ABSTRACT
The statistics on the success of long-term intimate relationships are daunting, with nearly half of first marriages ending in divorce. Conflict in intimate relationships can be beneficial or detrimental. It is not the amount of conflict that creates the risk, it is the style of communication used and the tactics chosen when couples argue. In addition, the impact of discord can be moderated (or not) by the repair-work that follows after conflict. This chapter explores common causes of conflict in an effort to prepare intimate partners against inevitable disagreements and provides strategies for managing difficult situations. Regardless of the couple’s socioeconomic status, culture, sexual orientation, or race, topics of conflict are remarkably similar: The topics of sex, money, and children dominate. Negative patterns such as the demand-withdrawal cycle and emotional disengagement are particularly damaging to intimate relationships. The importance of relationship maintenance activities are explored, particularly the value of positivity, openness, assurances, social networks, and sharing tasks.
