ABSTRACT
A re the rules of marriage good or bad? In an interesting book entitled Against Love , the argument is made that marriage and its many rules are a form of social control. In making her case, the author listed all of things that people can’t do when they are in relationships. On the list, which continues for eight pages, she included,
You can’t leave the house without saying where you’re going. You can’t not say what time you’ll return. You can’t stay out past midnight, or eleven, or ten, or dinnertime, or not come right home from work. You can’t go out when the other person feels like staying home. You can’t go to parties alone . . . You can’t be impulsive, self-absorbed, or distracted. You can’t take risks, unless they’re agreed-upon risks, which somewhat limits the concept of “risk”. You can’t just walk out on your job or quit in a huff . . . You can’t eat what you want . . . You can’t drive too fast, or faster than the mate defi nes as fast. 1
Because of these restrictions, the author concluded, “who needs a policeman on every corner? How very convenient that we’re so willing to police ourselves and those we love, and call it living happily ever after.” 2
Indeed, married people are less likely to commit crimes. Being married prevents people from committing crimes, even if they had been involved in crime before marriage. 3 Decreased crime seems like a good outcome of the rules of marriage.
