ABSTRACT
Painting is now a means for comforting myself for what I miss in experience and until and unless something is done to rehabilitate me so that my natural desires can be satisfied without the upsetting and disintegrating effect taking place that used to occur in my first marriage and the impotence I have found in myself in my present marriage so that I am obliged to have a celibate life, I shall, I know, never be balanced in that way and my work will suffer (…). I am full of self pity and I need it, it will come from nowhere else. (…) [To live in the] neutral land of landscape painting[:] that I bloody well won’t do and that is where I can see everyone trying to shove me and that is why they shall not see this. (…) Every form of coercion has been used. 1. by making my landscape work a great financial success, and 2. by careful refraining from buying any of my figure pictures. 3 by preaching to me in a “fatherly” manner 4. by insulting and impudent behaviour. 1
