ABSTRACT
Therapy often reveals a systemic pattern that has limited more than a couple’s relationship or sex lives and inspires a life-changing re-orientation on many levels. This chapter explores the distinction between a symptom-reduction model and a growth model. Even in sex therapy where the problem is often a specific symptom like low sexual desire, a man’s ejaculatory control, or a woman’s vaginal pain, the symptom is often a reflection of emotional or relational issues between partners. The chapter explores research into the value of a “two-person relational psychology” based on the intersubjective relationship between parent and child that programmed the individual for secure or insecure attachment, in contrast to the traditional one-person psychology on intrapsychic conflicts and unconscious needs. The relational research shows present-moment experiential processing is the most effective treatment, confirming the Gestalt model. The literature regards the two-person interaction between therapist and client as the healing factor. However, in couples therapy the two-person psychology is between partners and the face-to-face, intersubjective interaction between partners is the major healing factor. The therapist is the catalyst for enhancing body-to-body intimacy through encouraging empathy, authenticity, and playfulness between partners. Utilizing breath work is a critical factor encouraging positive change. Moments of conscious breathing encourages emotional awareness and helps regulate stress between partners.
