ABSTRACT
Many questions people ask about their relationships concern the emotions they experience—or fail to experience—in them. For examples: Why does a person we know to be a scoundrel sometimes inspire our passion and pursuit? Why, conversely, do we sometimes find it impossible to fall in love with, or even like, a potential partner who is kind, generous, trustworthy, and head over heels in love with us? Why do we often experience the most intense negative emotions and feelings in association with partners we love, admire, and respect? And why do we fail to experience positive emotion—or any emotion at all—in relationships we thought would bring us joy and happiness? Such questions often are asked about romantic relationships because, as we have noted, more than ever before people believe that romantic relationships should be a major source of their positive emotional experiences (Attridge & Berscheid, 1994).
