Lizzie was sitting in front of the television. It was 4 pm and she had been sitting there since 11 am when she got out of bed. She heard sounds of the busy world outside, from behind the closed curtains, that both scared her and made her long for sunlight, laughter and lightness. Lizzie was prone to anxiety, and always had been as long as she could remember. Her biggest fear was to become psychotic again. Six years ago, she was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. She was admitted to hospital when she tried to commit suicide. In the years after, she had three more admissions and received several diagnoses: borderline personality disorder, psychosis not otherwise specified, and schizophrenia. In these years, she had periods of weeks in which she wandered the streets in the city she lived in. She had memories of having sex with men she did not know for money, and sometimes she was convinced that she had been married and had kids who all died in a car accident. Her parents said that money had been taken out of the cash machines at strange places during this period. The past two years she had been treated with a high dose of the antipsychotics leponex and additional haloperidol. She took about 3 oxazepam a day to manage her anxiety. She did not dare to go outside, because voices told her to jump in front of the metro, and she was afraid that she would listen. She also experienced dizziness now and then when she walked on the pavement, and she panicked that she was hit by a car. She called her parents or the centre where she was treated but she called 10 times in a row because the reassurance lasted just a few minutes. She was also often afraid that she had taken too much or too little medication, that her hair would catch fire when she cooked, that she was in danger when she heard a crying voice, and that a berry would fall into her mouth when she walked below a tree and she would suffocate. She had no confidence in herself that she could cope with situations, and this led her to spend most of her time alone in front of the TV. She really
wanted to go outside, and make something of her life. Before she became ill she was very good in school and at playing the piano, but now it felt as if she wasted her life. She was referred to the academic medical centre because there was no progress in her treatment.