ABSTRACT
Following the recognition of pain and shame is movement toward self-forgiveness, and affirmation of self, slowly giving way to a deeper, more substantive respect for one’s dignity, integrity, and core values. Self-esteem is shown to be an externally based set of experiences. Reestablishing our dignity comes through the work we do to invoke self-respect. Margaret Holmgren writes more about self-forgiveness as it relates to self-respect. As we know all too well, self-respect and respect from and toward others are quite intertwined, making the distinguishing factors between them often difficult to define. Solid self-respect most frequently rests upon secure attachments from our past and present. The process of self-forgiveness, then, is not about making excuses for one’s behavior but truly acknowledging wrongdoings done with grace, letting go self-imposed penalties, self-regret, hatred, or other forms of disregard. Therefore, self-forgiveness becomes key to repairing the psychological damage done by shame.
