ABSTRACT
This chapter examines the Relationship Disturbance of Hurt and Anger, Fear and Insecurity, Low Frustration Tolerance with some of the case studies. It also explains the disturbed relationships stem not so much from what happens between two people, or existence of a relationship dissatisfaction, but from irrational beliefs people hold about what happens. When people hold irrational beliefs, they always prompt both a strong, negative emotional reaction and some dysfunctional behavior. Now they possess two problems for the price of one: a relationship disturbance on top of a relationship dissatisfaction. More specifically, relationship disturbance arises when one or both partners engage in one or more of the following six Killer Beliefs: Personalization, Perfectionistic Demanding, Neediness, Awfulizing, Low Frustration Tolerance, Other Damning. Finally the chapter provides a six-step tool: Be Mindful, Take Responsibility, Find the Killer B's, Dispute Your Killer B's, Reframe Your B's, and Plan Constructive Action for the couples who find themselves mired in a relationship disturbance.
