ABSTRACT
Some clients apply a standard much more strictly to themselves than they do to others. For example, a mother condemned herself as bad when her child fell over and injured himself while out playing, but sympathy and understanding, not condemnation, for a friend whose child suffered a similar misfortune. By eliciting the client's reasoning for this difference in her approach towards herself and her friend, the therapist understands the client's double standards. The client asked to imagine the effect on her friend if she did condemn her: 'she'd feel much worse'. The therapist can encourage his client to talk to herself in the same sympathetic way. There is a perfect mother, only a mother trying to do her best for her children. It's unrealistic to think I can always keep my son safe from harm. So as a mother, I'm good enough. Through such self-discussion, double standards ditched and replaced with a single standard that is helpful, compassionate and realistic.
