ABSTRACT
Unconditional positive regard for another involves recognising and attending to the whole person, hearing everything that is said – and even recognising what is not said. This must be done without judgement even if that judgement would be ‘positive’ or in agreement with the client’s own estimation or expressed attitude. Unconditional positive regard does not (usually) involve the therapist in taking any position whatsoever with respect to the client’s experience, views, reactions, etc. except one of impartiality. UPR does not of itself involve therapists in liking clients but it does mean the former prizing, respecting and experiencing warmth towards the latter. There is no need for the therapist to share the values or beliefs of the client. Indeed, any sense of recognition (‘She’s just like me!’) or disagreement (‘That’s just plain wrong!’) may interfere with or inhibit unconditional positive regard – both positive and negative personal reactions to the client and the client’s attitudes and lived experience have nothing to do with unconditional positive regard which can only be truly experienced when these are set aside. To some extent, as difficult as it can be, this is obvious. What is far trickier is avoiding what might be thought of as responding with unconditional positive regard to only part of the client’s experience.
