ABSTRACT
It is common for person-centred therapists to hear their clients express attitudes about themselves that the therapist doesn’t believe to be true. For example, a client may say that they are so worthless that they would be better off dead when it is apparent to the therapist that they have the potential for a bright and happy future. Or someone who has been assaulted may blame themselves for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, dressed the wrong way and having had too much to drink when the therapist knows we should all have the freedom to walk through our streets unafraid. Sometimes, there is a strong urge to contradict the client, pointing out the error in what they say. Because it is fundamentally unaccepting, it isn’t helpful to say to a suicidal person something like ‘But you are so young, with so much ahead of you.’ This holds even if the therapist believes it to be true. Likewise, to say to someone who blames herself for being raped that she is not to blame probably isn’t helpful. It may be that what she is doing is giving voice to her feelings of shame and that when these are heard and responded to with empathic understanding and unconditional positive regard she will be able to move on from them to her own recognition of her innocence and to express her justified anger.
