ABSTRACT
In stepfamilies secure couple bonding needs to be accompanied by flexibility of roles and acceptance of a somewhat loosely functioning family unit. Many remarried families or stepfamilies do achieve family unity and happiness. With increased awareness and with understanding and acceptance of new family structures, it is likely that many more stepfamilies will be able to achieve realistic and satisfying goals. Clinical observation suggests that the way in which the majority of stepfamilies are dealing with permeable boundaries is to consider that the children are members of two family units. Many parents in stepfamilies like the idea of avoiding the word “visit” and using the word “live” in reference to when children are with them. The chaotic relationships between stepsiblings, stepparents and stepchildren, or between the spouses in relationship to the children, all can produce such unbearable tensions that one or more children are sent to live with the other natural parent.
