ABSTRACT
The only reported study of men’s memories of their first ejaculation, based on a questionnaire and interview survey of thirty-six white middle-class camp counsellors aged 15 to 21, found that most did not tell anyone about it at the time. Stopping themselves expressing their feelings, including their homosexual feelings, lest they thereby expose themselves to be emotionally uncontained, as women are often characterised as being, men are often more than happy to share experiences demonstrating them to be manly, contained, and in control – particularly experiences involving ‘doing sex’. Psychologist Stephen Frosh and psychiatrist Danya Glaser explain the division in men between sex and love as follows: Traditional ‘masculinity’ focuses on dominance and independence, an orientation to the world which is active and assertive, which valorises competitiveness and turns its face from intimacy, achieving esteem in the glorification of force.
