ABSTRACT
I then suggest that the parents pay more attention to what their daughter does than what she says; her behavior, not her words, is how she will indicate the kind of parenting she needs. If she says she wants to be treated like a yOWlg adult (laWlching) but acts in ways that tell her parents she needs closer supervision (protection), the parents are instructed to respond to the behavior and provide protection. The parents might say something like, "I Wlderstand what you said about wanting to be treated like a yOWlg adult, and I want to parent you as a YOWlg adult, but your behavior indicates you still want us parents to take charge of your behavior and take care of you." Such a comment may evoke responses ranging from denial to explosive outburst to (miraculously!) cooperation on the part of the adolescent. It does not take long for most adolescents to catch on that their parents will relinquish control and extend limits only when they are certain that their child can manage self-control, accept consequences, and align her behavior with her parents' expectations. .
