ABSTRACT
Couples often tire of arguing and develop ways “to keep the peace.” However, these solutions often do not help the couple feel close or happy. Instead, the solutions themselves often become problems. In fact, by the time the couple reaches the therapist's office, they may have become stuck in a dance in which communication, intimacy, and connection are lost, and instead, many unspoken rules and assumptions guide what they do to avoid arguments. Through the use of “peace at any price diagrams” therapists can help couples explore how they have been keeping the peace in their relationship, and at what price to their relationship. In doing so, the therapist may then help the couple negotiate new ways to support each other.
