ABSTRACT
A good starting point for considering couple relationships is the idea put forward by John Gray that men and women are from different planets, which have completely different languages and customs. The problem is that they think they speak the same language, and should have the same customs. Gray goes on like this, with many other insights which seem to me very deep and very telling, in a patriarchal context. An interesting recent development is that of men who have read all this stuff and now make a speciality of vulnerability. The general solution is to give up the belief, which is absurd in any case, that the man should always determine what is to be talked about, and when, and in what terms. As soon as the woman is given some credence as having an agenda of her own, which is just as worthy of attention as anything the man may produce, things can move forward.
