ABSTRACT
This chapter examines what a real fight looks like, especially when the relationship has sunk into the misery phase. In the bleakest moments, during a fight, in the midst of tears, Maureen will crack a joke, and they both burst out laughing. They have learned that fighting is critical to the health and vitality of our relationship. However, they need to articulate why their fights with Misty were so effective and what was getting in the way of Maureen and the author having more effective fights. That degree of trust does not exist in the beginning of any relationship, and, sometimes, it never gets cultivated. While they understand that sometimes their feelings are going to get so overwhelming that we feel like running away, or breaking up, or killing each other, they have committed to coming back and working with the difficult feelings.
