ABSTRACT
Prominent in the blogs we examine in our research sample are stories of dates gone wrong, of meeting a ‘nutter’ or crazy person. We focus on these in this chapter because they reveal how boundaries around heterosexual gender norms are policed in internet dating. The nutter story is so prominent as a narrative precisely because it is unusual and makes a good story. It has elements of comedy and is often told as a kind of gothic horror or adventure story. The regular occurrence of this narrative has much to tell us about how people navigate gendered heteronormativity as they manage their internet dating relationships. We outline the nutter narrative and then analyse each stage of the story. The narrative helps illuminate the journey of internet daters from pleasant, untroubling initial contact and meeting, to the emergence of doubts, to pushing on despite those doubts. It helps explain when and why various parties might feel cautious or retreat from contact. Nutter narratives are clearly gendered and we suggest that while both the men’s and the women’s narratives might reinforce various gendered heteronorms and expectations, they also tell stories which give a glimpse of new ways women might exercise more control over whether, when and how relationships proceed, as well as new modes of negotiation which men may encounter in these novel developments. Nutter narratives tell us how these various efforts to do gender differently are limited—that is, in Ahmed’s terminology, are ‘straightened’ up, or even ‘stopped’.
