ABSTRACT
Self-evaluation can play havoc with social relationships and confuses the task of evaluating others. People who base their assessments of others on their own self-evaluation are likely to make serious mistakes. There is, of course, a counter argument. One often hears that a realistic appraisal of oneself is the best way to arrive at an accurate assessment of other. The opinions of others—even insignificant others—become emotionally fraught primarily because they affect one's opinion of self. This chapter presents case notes that are designed to show the connection between self-evaluation and couples issues. These passages do not pretend to provide an overview of couple's therapy. Clients are often concerned about the opinions of others because they are looking for "acceptance". Some people turn themselves into martyrs. Many explanations exist and many causes too. Maintaining an opinion of self is one of them. Self-acceptance had to precede success with couple's therapy.
