ABSTRACT
Chapter 11 heralds the point in the book where we begin to talk about moving on together; what it means, and what’s required to ensure both individuals within the couple enjoy a happy and satisfying relationship. This chapter is about the new roles that each will inevitably be playing as a consequence of the addiction. Couples are encouraged to remember that they are not the same people that they were before disclosure or discovery and they cannot get their ‘old’ relationship back. Each will carry memories of what they’ve experienced and the person with the addiction will always be in recovery, and to a lesser or greater degree will need to continue to work on their recovery. Partners will always live with the scars of trauma, and both will be vulnerable to triggers and flashbacks. This chapter spells out the reality of what staying in the relationship will look like and provides guidance on overcoming shame and blame and developing a partnership contract where both can look forward to their life journey together.
