ABSTRACT
From the book thus far, one might be tempted to conclude that people are somewhat obsessed with thoughts about their past, current, or anticipated romantic relationships. Certainly, private conversations with close associates may support the idea that people spend a great deal of time thinking about the state of their intimate relationships. However, an overlooked fact about the study of relationships is that, although people may intently consider their relationships, such may not be a very conscious or salient process. In fact, people may even discount their thoughts about romance as idle speculations having little to do with the real world. Yet, as Duck (1986) observes, something far more important may be going on:
We can plan the relationship; we can think back over encounters and try to work out what went wrong with them or what we can learn from them (Duck, 1980). This out-of-interaction fantasy or thought work is important in building and destroying relationships. I believe that it has been overlooked because researchers haven't yet asked people how they spend their time. I’m sure that we spend a lot of our time thinking, musing, and daydreaming. Maybe we can plan our relationships to make them work better. (pp. 95–97)
