ABSTRACT
There is a clear tendency for neighbours to become polarised as the conflict goes on. Parties look for allies amongst family and friends, consolidate their positions, increase the internal consistency of their story and outlook, and put psychological distance between themselves and the other side. Unfortunately mediators often arrive in a dispute after the parties have become polarised, and this can make their work extremely hard. Because the parties have developed the internal consistency of their stories, and these stories of course contradict each other, mediators can find it difficult to draw parties into a mutual agreement about the content of the dispute. In one case, the mediators found almost completely equal and opposite stories from both parties, and no matter how they tried to explore the situation, they could not discover any common perception about each other’s behaviour. Neither party would agree that they were doing anything that the other accused them of, and simply told the mediators that it was the other side who was doing it. In such a situation no issues can be found as a focus for discussion; and mediators risk becoming conduits for accusations and denials. In such a polarised situation, the only way to break the stand-off may be to bring the parties face to face so that they have to confront each other’s different perspectives. Paradoxically this is often too risky a step to take because of the frightening image of the other that they have developed.
