ABSTRACT

Schwartz describes some common fears that come up when negotiating with protectors. In addition, there are some corresponding techniques that reassure protectors and enlist their collaboration. Though the model was initially developed with adults in mind, it turns out that children's parts have very similar fears. This chapter describes some typical concerns of protective parts in children and ways to reassure them. It shows the ways in which the IFS therapist engages the protector with respect, knowing that it has a positive intention for the child. Using Internal Family Systems (IFS) in family work is extremely helpful in deescalating the conflict and hurt that arises from feeling wholly vilified. Much of the work of IFS takes place in the negotiation with protective parts. With reassurance and creativity, children can be guided to negotiate with their protectors, giving them hope that things can change and opening the path to help the exiled parts inside them.