ABSTRACT
This chapter points out that sexual relationships are a form of attachment. The attachment in the relationship of the self to the other is dramatically demonstrated in the sexual fantasy and sexual behavior. The common phrase to have sex with someone illustrates the point that sex, whether in behavior or fantasy, involves a sexual other. Disturbance in sexual capacities reflect symptomatic disturbances in attachment security. Strain trauma, also called micro traumas, of happenings and failures of happenings, are illustrated in the sexual fantasy. Also illustrated are the neurotic compromises enlisted to help with the emotional pain of insecure attachments of various types. The sexual behaviors attempt to deal with these traumas and achieve temporary feelings of safety in attachment. The different personality disorders have different variations of attachment issues and adaptations. The repetition compulsion of attachment strain trauma in behavioral provocations is illustrated. The motivation and use of fetish and fetish enactments is thereby better understood. Perversion is defined as betrayal of the attachment for the conscious pleasure of the betrayer. It is not usually a sexual pleasure. Perversion is of the object in reality. It is not a sexual game, usually. It is not usually linked to the lust cycle. It is a definitional aspect of the sociopathic personality, distinguishing it from the malignant narcissist personality with sociopathic features who lies and tricks as secondary to getting what they want. Numerous clinical examples are given.
