ABSTRACT
While the previous chapter addressed experiences of having sex despite not wanting to, this chapter shifts focus to experiences of desire-less sex characterized by a greater degree of mutual willingness. Its main focus is on “maintenance sex” or “compliant sex”, where one person lacks sexual desire but willingly accommodates the desires of their partner. The analysis goes deep into the nuances of this type of sex, as experienced both by the person lacking sexual desire and the person engaging in a sexual interaction with a person known to be motivated by reasons other than desire. Engaging with debates about the potential problems and harmful gender dynamics underpinning sex where one person is motivated by care rather than desire, the chapter concludes that while any straightforward rejection of this form of sex is untenable, women's tendency to adapt to men's sexual desires in this way is part of broader patterns subordinating women's sexual needs to men's.
