ABSTRACT
All relational trauma arises from either disempowering abuse or falsely empowering abuse. Self-esteem is the recognition that each of us has individual inherent worth equal to everyone else, not greater or lesser. Unfortunately, life and experience work to destroy the simplicity of that axiom. Internal listening boundaries fail when someone cannot accurately assess incoming data and therefore becomes excessively sensitive to criticism, teasing, or bullying. Intact boundaries are critical to personal and professional interactions; boundary failures or violations color our realities. As the child begins to mature, each developmental stage reactivates that same stage in the parent. The shame bind or the obsession with an action, need, behavior, personal characteristic, or body part always arises within a milieu of abuse or neglect. The balance of any functional adult balance is created by an appropriate sense of individual value, power through self-control, and appreciation of life’s fullness through appropriate self-care.
