ABSTRACT
In this chapter, the author presents the case study of Julie, Ralph and Peter. Ralph was a highly successful professional; Lucy had decided to stay home with their two children after the birth of her second child. Lucy had filed for divorce the previous year, but agreed to reconcile after three months. The second source of tension was Ralph’s obsession with work and his unavailability to Lucy and his children. Ralph’s death was disturbing in a very different way. During a five-year period, three patients in three different forms of treatment with the author died unexpectedly. The differences among the three situations – the timing within the treatment, the transference/countertransference matrix at the time, and events in his own life – all profoundly influenced his response to each death. The unexpected death of a patient short-circuits this process for the analyst and highlights the special difficulties of mourning this unique relationship.
