ABSTRACT
This chapter explores the “stage” of mourning in which the bereaved begin to come to terms with the reality of their loved one’s death, emotionally as well as cognitively. Joan Didion’s book demonstrates the need to know the circumstances of death, and differentiates between grief and mourning. The works of Donald Kalsched, Peter Levine, and Bessel van Der Kolk review the defenses associated with trauma. The author’s conversation with her daughter’s friend, who survived the accident, plus attendance at legal proceedings, helped her confront the reality of events. On the emotional level, dreams repeating the circumstances of death allow the bereaved to adjust gradually to their loss. Jung’s “Commentary” on The Tibetan Book of the Dead, Edward Edinger’s work on alchemy, and Marie-Louise von Franz’s comments on the keres figure amplify images from the author’s dreams. Greg Mogenson’s distinction between “sentimental” and “imaginal” dreams illustrates the psychic process occurring in this stage of mourning, as images of the dead begin to function as autonomous figures in the dream world.
